Parakalein

One of the issue of religion and spirituality is that we present it as it is what people need to be rescued from their plight,, thought or experience that are collectively or individually overwhelming.  the idea of an external redeemer is what drives many salvation based spiritual groups.

A few weeks ago I blogged about a rescuer, Leonard Pope.  He was at a pool party and dove into the pool to rescue a 6 year old boy.  Everyone especially his mother thanked God for the rescuer part in Leonard.  He was actually called a "savior".  In one real empirical way, he was the savior of this boy in this moment of time.  A part of me began thinking about the rescuer part in all of us as helping people and helping professionals.  We get hooked by our rescuing others and put our selves in jeopardy.

I began to think of another metaphor or story.  It is the opposite extreme creative made up story but parallels the inner dilemma. It uses the same setting a person in a narrative .
Leonard Pope is at a pool party.  It happens to be in an area of the country that is spacious and wide and has all the ingredients of God's created world of nature. At a distance in a Mountain plateau is a "Hot SPring".  Leonard Pope strolls out into the nature beyond the pool where there is no right and wrong but where there is safety and security in the peacefulness of nature.
The Hot Spring is a beauty to behold but is immediate death to anyone who falls in it.  Leonard Pope hears a mother cry out.  My baby is falling into the Hot Springs. Leonard Pope comes running for he is in his heart a caring compassionate responsive person.  As he gets closer he watches the child being brought into the hot springs and life immediately going out of him.  He stops and looks at the mother.  When she begins to beat him on the chest telling him to save her baby!  He is not indifferent though she accuses him of that, he is not uncaring though she accuses him of that, he is not afraid though she accuses him of that, he is not.  He is securely present offering to her his compassion, care and strength.  Had he jumped into the hot spring to prove his courage or compassion he would have lost wisdom.

When I try to rescue a person who when rescued continues to die for las of a sense of their own power, I contribute to the cycle of their own powerlessness.  Saying not to helping may sometimes be the most helpful thing I learn to d. It i snot if I help I care and if I do not help, I do not care.  That sets me up to die rather than teach people how to live free of the compassion that beats up on myself and does not strength others and the compassion that is peaceful and wiise as its focus it, will it really be helpful.  Will it help me to feel impertinent or important or impermanent.  Would it add to my frustration .  Would that add to the cycle of frustration or dissolve that cycle.

There is wisdom that surpasses understanding that comes from being in a peace place that also surpasses human understanding.  It is a place where the rescuer in me learns that sometimes trying to rescue a person actually does not help them and can kill the rescuing part in me.  We call this burn out. It is operating out of a burdened part that cares rather than operating as a system that lives in peace and compassion with wisdom and strength.  It is not whether someone outside of me thinks I am a caring person.  It is when I know inside who I am.  It is always about peace, wisdom and love. These are the characteristics of God in me.  It is not what I do as a rescuer it is:  how I stay safe and secure inside as I offer help, that really helps rather than offering help that does not really help.  I can help out of compassion and kindness or out of egoistic altruism or ego.  If it is about me it is a hint that it may not help the other person.  Empathy can draw me into another persons neediness and have meet operate out of my need to be a helper.  Compassion contains the wisdom to offer help but assess if the offer is in service of my ego needs, the other persons ego wants, or in service of healthy growth.

It is why I consonantly ask myself and use the rubric of reflection taught to me by a Rabbi at Yeshiva University, Wurzweiler School of Social Work:
"In whose service is the service".  Seeking always to be in service of the wisdom and compassion that takes courage and creativity to offer, and disciple and discernment to not offer.  The vital balance of compassion is found in the internal balance of wisdom and peace.