About Me

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I am a pastor and a clinical psychotherapist. My life's passion is defining healthiness from a human perspective and paralleling it to the holiness of God, divine perspective. Shifting perspectives creates a paradigm that is alongside of rather than over and against. The parakalein of God and the paradoxes of humanity are redefined. Humanity is all about winning and yet we are losing ground everywhere. Divinity is all about letting go of the desire to win and the fear of loss. The Divine embraces the world with loving care regardless of anything.

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A New 4 Spiritual Laws

Posted by Don Paine

4 spiritual laws are
1)  What goes up will come down the power of prayer to illuminate the mind and eliminate perceived obstacles,

2)   For every reaction there is an equal but opposites reaction
Be careful to not get caught up in convincing others, convicting others, compelling anyone or anything. With gentleness and kindness be compassionate and as much as possible live In peace with all people

3)  Balance and Counterbalance are the laws of the universe.

4)  As in science "everything" is present for a reason and there is a reason to be found in "everything".   Forgiveness and Faithfulness are 'F' words you can live with.

God and the mystery of control and the mastery of the need to control

A Blessing to You

Posted by Don Paine

Blessed are you o Lord our God Master of the universe for you have made us holy with your commandments and call us to wash our hands
Blessed are you o Lord our God  Master of the Universe for you bring forth bread from the earth

Blessed are you o Lord Our God Master of the Universe creator of all living things and their needs.   You have given to us everything we need to sustain the soul if every living being Blessed are you for you are the life of the world
You are the light in All People being born into this world

A World of Hostility Looks for Courageous Humility

Posted by Don Paine

Hostility and belligerence is seen every day
In classrooms in street corners guns have their say
While people in churches pray for peace in our world
People with anger plan terror to unfurl

A new found stability helps me to be more calm
A new found understanding of the fatigue of compassion
Helps me to be decrease my feeling of the sweaty palm
A new found perspective, steadily creates life passion

It  helps me to be full of compassion without Losing my footing
To be fully human, the goal, includes mistakes after all
To be more forgiving, the commitment to stand tall
Honesty and humility are partners with sorrow teaming

Winning the battle is less important than the war winning
In the end it is not who wins the argument that truly wins
It is the one with humility and honesty that is a true friend
The only thing that last forever is relationships after all

by Don Paine

It was an Orange not an Apple

Posted by Don Paine

I walked out of church with my good friend from old days.  Stepped into a cab that would bring me to the airport.

For the next 45 minutes we spoke truth into each others life.  It was not telling each other what we wanted each other to know.
It was about being together in a way that invited the story.  It was not about telling him a truth that I know that he needed to know.  
What I know is the truth that I know is only important to me and if I try to impose my truth rather than exposing my heart.
 I err in the practice the true practice of faith. Story telling is what we as human used to do because there was no knowledge written.
I wonder, as I write, if it would be a better world if we had no knowledge.  If we only had the inner wisdom of love and peace would this be a better world. 
 How can we learn to be willing to put all the knowledge aside and just be in peace and love with another human being.

I did that today in a small measure and a huge measure of wonder filled my soul.  I may never meet this man again but he added to my living and I want 
to believe I added to his.  How did it happen?  He was born in Ghana, Africa and was driving cabs in DC, I was born in Massachusetts a white anglo saxon.  
The wisdom of loving others as we know we want to be loved and being at peace with other each other stories from our lives that contributed to our living.

Our conversation began rather normally.  He asked me why I was in DC.  I explained I was at a conference presenting a workshop.  He asked on what?  I gave him a short capsule:  I was presenting on accepting all parts and all experiences of life as instructors in the course of living life.  Like Jesus who had welcomed all people regardless of anything and helped them achieve peace of heart regardless of anything they had ever done.  He asked for more details revealing that he was a Christian plagued by guilt for 40 years  We talked more about God's grace.  About how God wants us to look him in the eye and tell him what we did wrong and accept the and grow through the consequences.  We people let us off the hook they do not do us a favor for being let off the hook though gracious does not relieve us of guilt and shame.  I reviewed the Genesis 3 story.  I had a part that felt like I was giving him too much stuff but another part of me saw his attentiveness. He nearly stopped the can tuned around and told me that I had just helped him to understand something that he had never understood before  He asked me if he could tell me a story that he had been plagued with since his youth an to this day feels guilty about.

We spoke to each other not out of judgement but out of open heartedness.  I had come from a conmference where I had spoken about things I think are so
important for people to know.  But my "know it part" has learned that it is not as importnatn as it thinks it is.  It is not my knowledge that people need it is the
authentic experience of authentic presence. It is "with" and "in" an openhearted way that we spoke.  We talked about lots of things  and eventually got to speaking about deeper things.  

I am temtped here to tell you the reader things about our conversstation as if you need to know them or I need to tell them.  But it is not about me, nor is it about needs,
It is about divine energy of being present without agenda and with no conditions then letting the moment create itself.  It did.  

So here is one story that came to me in a fresh way due to his story which he chose to share with me.  I told him I would see that story because it was better to make
the point I had than anything I had so he had improved me and my clarity of the compassionate message I want to bring to the world.  Not the world at large.  
But it is the small world of my human existence.  People like Larbi who I meet on my journey are most important. Everyone likes people coming to hear them speak at a workshop but that is incidental to these providential meetings.  It is not people who come to hear me or even who read this blog.  It is People connecting with people with stories, that is what living is energized by.

Larbi told me that at 16 he cut down a neighbors orange tree becasue it had one big juicy orange on it and he wanted that orange.  Inside of him he knew it was wrong.  41 years later he still knows it was wrong.  His father made him go to the person and look him in the eye and tell him that he knew it was wrong but did it anyway.  He was just hungry.
He just wanted the orange but it was wrong to cut the tree down.  He acted without thought for anyone else but his own appetite and need.
The owner of the orange tree told him it was okay as the tree was old and had only one orange on it.   A part of me wanted to scream because saying it is okay when it is not okay contributes to confusion.  It was true that for the owner it was not a big deal but that does not make it okay.  This is where the social system while intending to be gracious becomes confusing and chaotic.

The system of the world only works when there is balance of all truths and balance only works when all parts of the truth are spoken with equity and equanimity.  
It dawned on me that this cab drive just gave me the perfect illustration to make a point that God had introduced me to.  I asked him if i could use it and told him that
it was better that the story I had used to make my point.  He looked at me with curiosity and asked me to tell what it was that I was teaching.   I had by listening to him,
valuing his story earned the right to speak a truth.  ANother truth became clear through this experience. We cannot just tell people truths that we want them to know we need to be invited by our authentic presence in to
the opportunity to speak of truth.  Even then I was careful to speak the truth, that was in me, not as the truth but as a truth.  In the multiplicity of truth there is a greater truth.   This is not relative truths but truths from different [perspectives and perceptions that form different conclusions. This keeps the welcome door always open,  to a part in another person that wants to say no or yes or let me think about it, to anything I say.

So here is the teaching as a story:

When God came into the garden of Eden the day after Adam and Eve had sinned.  Nothing had changed in God.  They (an inclusive way of referring to the male vs female imaging of God - God is not maternal or paternal God is eternal and supernal) that is  came into the garden that day the same way they came in every preceding day.  The only change was in the mind and heart of Adam and Eve.  They were in hiding.  Were about to step over the threshold of peace and love into the world of blame and shame.  No one told them this.  They felt it inside because they knew inside that they had done something against themselves and the blessing of life as god had prepared for them.  They went into hiding because they could not face the God who they had disappointed and inside they had sinned against their own existence.
What died that day was their natural sense of peace and love for all God had given.  The original blessing was still there.  It was not lost.  What was lost was the capacity to see it clearly.  As an injured part that felt shame and to defend itself resorted to blaming someone else.  Thank fully God was above all that and still is.

Larbi told me the following story.  As a 16 year old he cut down an orange tree because he wanted an orange.  He knew it was wrong , no one needed to tell himit was wrong.  He did it because it looked good to eat and he knew that it would be good to eat.  What was wrong was that he cut the tree down to get the orange.  What was not wrong was his desire to eat, to be nourished.  It was a seed bearing fruit so had all the seed of God in it but also the seed of human desire and human fear.  What was wrong was the 16 year old boys willingness to risk wrong but not willing to face the eyes of those he had offended.  He wanted to hide, deny, protect rather than admit, be responsible and respectful. 

When people do wrong they know inside that they have done wrong what they do not know is how to come clean, accept their offending part and with compassion and kindness shift the focus form judgement against the behavior and punishment for the behavior but present a loving acceptance toward the person nurturing the experience of being loved and cared for rather than judged and punished.  AS John spoke: "perfect loving cast out all fear".

Larbi knew he had been wrong but he needed his father to force him to look at his part that did this, and at the person who he did it against.  In both instances the loving caring presence that transforms the conflict of judgment into the compassion of acceptance was present.  What was missing was the consequence for his behavior.  He did not want to get off scott free.  Or rather a part of him while glad for the immediate forgiveness knew it was wrong and the owner telling him that it was okay was not right.  As my mother used to say, "two wrongs do not make a right".  I was careful here and told him that it was not that he needed to be punished.  Punishment does not help.  Neither does just forgive it.  He needed to welcome this grieving guilty part and let it know it was right to look in to the eye of the one he offended and tell him he was sorry.  Then when the owner of the orange tree said it was okay, he needed to say no it is not, let me work on your farm for a day to show you that I accept my responsibility and accountability for wrong.  Just being forgiven is a mistake we often make.  It is when you forgive yourself for what you did that you are set free.  He looked at me as if a weight had dropped off  his shoulders.  I nervously asked him to stay focused on the road.  I will not take from God forgiveness that does not contain accountability and consequences.  Truth and grace are  both necessary for true freedom to be experienced. 

Imagine what would have happened if Adam and Eve after plucking the orange off the tree and eating it, choose to stay in the garden sitting on the bench and when God came into the garden they said:  "Oh God are we glad to see you.  We know we did something wrong in defiance of your standard but we knew you would not be angry or punish us but be present with us, to come alongside of us, to help us to figure out what we do now came into the Garden.  What caused Adam and Eve to go into hiding was their shame, their blaming of each other, and their guilt.  God came into the garden that day in the same way that God did every other day.  With loving presence God came into the garden with compassion and calmness.  It was the inability to look in the eyes of God and be honest and humble.

Larbi thanked me for helping him to get free of a 40 year burden.  I thanked him for giving me a story that makes it all fit together.  It was not an apple.  Apples do not grow in that climate, oranges do.  Oranges are peeled to get to the juice, the truth and to the seeds of life.  We had done that together.  I thank my friend as well who challenged me to not "do mu plan" but be open to another way.  Little did I know God was in that way.

The Knot that is Not and is

Posted by Don Paine

Michael Yapko who I studied with in 1996 used to say and probably still does the truth that not every though you think is worthy to be thought about!  In my devotional this morning, I

began to think of many similar statements.......here are some of them

The Knot that knots us together is in all of us, everyone

Not every thought is worth thinking about.
Not every feeling needs to be expressed
Not every angry reaction need result in an hostile response
Not any act of aggression can justify a responsive act of aggression
Not every disagreement has to separate and fragment mature friends
Not every action need be responded to by an equal and opposing reaction.
Not any act of disrespect can be used to justify another act of disrespect
No act of war is justified though the act of war can be made justifiable
Not every moment of euphoria and excitement can be transmitted with words.

Every moment needs to be treasured
Every day needs to be savored
Every week is to be honored with a special day of rest
Every Month is to be marked a a shifting of the moon
Every year has moments of reflection, sadness, redemption and release
Every decade becomes the launching pad for a new beginning
Every century the beginning of a generating life for the next generation
Every event needs to be seen with an eye of faith, embraced as a "bashert"
All who engage in intentional acts of compassion pay attention to the still small voice.

By Don Paine

When All Parts are Welcome Peace is the Witness to All

Posted by Don Paine

  1. ALL Parts  When Welcomed Learn to live in Peace and Harmony with Each Other

    Just about every religious group that I know, have visited or been part of over the years has a sign out front that says a number of versions of this statement:

    All Are Welcome!
    Everyone is Welcome!
    There is A Welcome Here for You.

    I was recently on Cape Cod and a church there had cancelled their early service in favor of cheering on Bicyclists’ who were in the Pan Mass Challenge which  is the largest single charity fund raising event in the USA.  They raised nearly $50,000,000.00 dollars/funds for cancer research and treatment.

    It reminded me that when I pastured a church in Albany NY several years ago we gave water to runners as the marathon course came by our churches front door.  One runner was so impressed that we were out there creating a sense of welcome that he actually cam into a service the next week in sneakers and shorts and running shirt.  He though dressed differently than any other person in the church that day felt welcome.

    The IFS model provides a model for churches to become more serious about doing what they are saying.  In other words creating a sense of welcome for all people regardless of race, ethnicity, sociological-economic position, political posture, personal habits, sexual preferences, level of neatness, need to control, entitled or excluded, even regardless of faith orientation or the lack of it.  Imagine if regardless of anything people really felt welcome.  The principle of Welcoming all parts has helped me to help the United Church of Christ and its leadership to identify more and more ways in which by welcome here to fore excluded people who engage in certain excluding practices are now thankfully welcome.  The church is to be a place of inclusivity, of “judgment free zone” the essence of which is to welcome all parts.  Really!  To welcome them so that hey can in the presence of light and love be released form their burdens and freed to live life in the most abundant way.  Which are the words of Jesus, Rumie, Buddha etc.

    Jon Lennon wrote over 50 years ago,

Song by The Plastic Ono Band, John Lennon
    1.             Imagine there's no heaven
    2.             It's easy if you try
    3.             No hell below us
    4.             Above us only sky
    5.             Imagine all the people
    6.             Living for today...
Imagine there's no countries
    7.             It isn't hard to do
    8.             Nothing to kill or die for
    9.             And no religion too
    10.         Imagine all the people
    11.         Living life in peace...
You may say I'm a dreamer
    12.         But I'm not the only one
    13.         I hope someday you'll join us
    14.         And the world will be as one, 
Imagine no possessions
    15.         I wonder if you can
    16.         No need for greed or hunger
    17.         A brotherhood of man
    18.         Imagine all the people
    19.         Sharing all the world...
You may say I'm a dreamer
    20.         But I'm not the only one
    21.         I hope someday you'll join us
    And the world will live as one

     Jesus prayer “That they might be one” becomes our practice as welcome all parts as if they are one with each other in the internal system of our soul.

    IFS “All parts are welcome” helps the serious Christian church to welcome all regardless of anything as that welcome creates the balance in the system that creates a solar system of balanced energy, beautiful hopefulness, and boundless glassy sea of peace.

    Below is a picture of the true Jesus.  Not the Jesus wrapped up in church clothes nor the Jesus who sits in judgment of those who do wrong, but the true Jesus full of “grace toward all and Truth about Life and light and the power of light and love to bring peace to all people of earth.  It is the message of the Gospel, Christmas=, Easter and for all time, it is the message of the Good News to which all are welcome to take part on, surround themselves by and immerse themselves in.  He welcomes =all who were on that sad day in September.  Regardless of anything about any of those people, what they did the night before, whether they went to church the week before or not, whether they were straight or gay, whether they were rich of=r poor, whether they were sick or well, whether they were young or old they were e=welcomes by the Jesus who has no favorites, plays no favorites, but alas showers the favor of love grace peace and forgiveness for all.  While there  is no justice we can minimize the injustices by increasing the capacity of welcoming all parts..

    The United Church of Christ which has begun years ago to be a covenant based church has placed the emphasis not on doctrine or dogma but on the dynamics of community.  In UCC churches the standard greeting that is in keeping with the spirit of all parts are welcome is,” Wherever you are on life’s journey, whatever your transition in life is at this time, whoever you have been and whoever you are to become you are all welcome here.  Regardless of your personal preferences, your faith or religious traditions, your sexual preferences, poor political persuasion, your ecommerce status, your sociological position, your commitment to green space or blue space,  your health or hygiene habits, and regardless of your music or worship service preferences you are welcome here.

    Paul writes in Ephesians 4:

Internal Redemptive Services 07/27/15, a draft input desired

Posted by Don Paine

As i was walking this morning I recalled a young woman who I met several years ago who had been in treatment in a major city for depression.  She had had by the time I saw her, many sessions/treatments of Electro Shock Therapy.  Her first words to me sere that she was dead and know one seemed to realize it.  People would argue with her using reason to pull her out of the depth of death that she was in.  In short, know one believed her.  I chose to believe her and ask her what it was like to be dead without anyone getting it.  We spent a lot of sessions talking about her feelings, and exploring her realities rather than debating them.  I recall asking her how it was that we were talking if she was dead and she said she had parts that could recognize people who she could trust and speak with and I was one of them so it is a kind of special dispensation (my word).  She talked about being a black sheep in her family and that she would rather be a dead black sheep than a live white sheep.  She gradually convinced herself that she must not be dead because somebody was believing what she was saying.

One interesting thing about the myriad of interesting things in this case was that it was not psychotherapy that helped her out of her "death" but her own hearing of her own talking herself out of it.  She had no insurance so I saw her for a nominal fee.  In time she stopped coming as she traveled a good distance to see me.  I recall one day when she realized that she had driven herself to the appointment that "dead people do see and can drive".  Later she thought that was bizarre.  I saw her years later and she was married with one child and playing the piano at the church I happened to attend that day.  She thanked me for giving her life back to her.  I suggested that she found her life and took it back herself.

For the next several years I continued to practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist, Social Worker, Individual therapist with offices in Albany and MA.  I continued to take insurance and self payers at a lower rate.  Parakalein as a concept first given to me in Albany while still a pastor 20 years ago developed into a more cohesive therapy of "along side of" focus when I trained as an internal family therapist with Dr. Richard Schwartz.  The self is in all of us and alongside of all our parts to provide care comfort and compassion to self and others.  In the recent couple years as I have gone through a contemplative, reflective, recalerbrating time both of my personal living and my professional functioning I have come to a new morphed understanding of the concept of parakalein that is not different but more refined.

Just this morning I came up with a tentative name for this new focus:  Internal Redemptive Services/Counsleing (IRS). The focus is to reach:
1. we need no external redeemer that absolves us of responsibility
2. we need to be responsible for our injuries internal and for the injuries we inflict on others regardless of rationalization or excuses
3. we need to see that we are all the same only different after all"*
4. When the external redeemer image or person is tapped the internal redeemer is ignited with its dormant hoe, faith and love for they are eternal and internal in all of us

Here are a few starting points for Parakalein 2016

1) office closed in Albany may reopen one day a week in a new location, 901 Washington Avenue

2) Suffered a Depressive episode in March 2014 due to Stress of Losses, Compassion Fatigue, and tendency to Hypomania.

3) when asked by an insurance company why I would continue to see a patient after they had said they would not pay, a part of me said "Because I care about people more than about money!" (Compassion fatigue without self care can lead to self effacement, Compassion without self care can lead to self negation)

4) The goal of therapy is to be a catalyst for healing of brokenness, liberty for captives, human growth and development to the place of healthy awareness of self and others, mature dependency, mutual respectfulness, and the ability to speak and hear the truth in love.

5) That a pay as you go policy, without insurance that can mask true commitment to the work of therapy, and a professional focus that is not as much about psychotherapy as it is often defined but "healing the soul" as it is self defined, challenges me to change the focus and orientation of my work in the future beginning when I reopen my office in West Stockbridge.  The focus will be not "heal thyself" as in the inference in Biblical Christianity when Jesus is mocked by: "He saved others himself he cannot save".  Jesus was already healed and whole as a soul and spirit but he was in process of redeeming the body.  The focus will be to find the healing power that is God given in every human being.  It is not external redemption but internal redemption thus the developing name "Internal Redemptive Services".  Parakalein is sharpened in its focus not to harpoon other foci but to see counseling as Jesus envisioned it and as the Holy Spirit does it in people as more like a "player coach" than an expert counselor.

During the last several years I continued to see clients beyond what an insurance company would pay, regardless of their ability to pay, and regardless of the extent of debt I was creating for myself and them.
If I had all clients pay up all their bills today I would have approximately $37,000.00.  I saw an IFS therapist for a while and we let my bill grow into a few hundred then I dropped out partly out of embarrassment and partly out of shame and guilt.  A year later he informed me he was waving the debt.  I thanked him and realized I had not done the same but was neither able to ask for payment of forgive the debt.

Best Baby Shower the gift Parental Wisdom from the parent of All of Us

Posted by Don Paine

I think it was Dr Karl Menninger who said "Adults biologically produce children, Psychologically, Children produce Adults!"

Have you been to a baby shower and seen all the gifts: multiple blankets, multiple toys, many diapers or a diaper service for the more environmentally focused?  Recently my wife was invited to a baby shower and she cam up with a creative basket of little things that because they do not in themselves cost a lot would not be thought of as a gift but all together they were a low cost high reward kind of gift.  Key word "thoughtful" not "costly".

What is the best gift we could give parents in waiting:  A gift Pack of 9 small items not high in cost but high in reward:

1. Love:  It is the only gift that lasts forever.  It is sometimes tough but always tender.  It makes the best of the worst of times and remembers to give God thanks for the good times.  It hates faking it but loves being it.  It is honest but not harsh, gentle but not weak, and long-suffering but not a doormat.

2. Joy:  Like singing in the rain, walking a scary path, feeling the storm clouds threaten, and the safety of your feet slipping off the rock into sinking sand. "Count it a Joy" regardless of how good or bad it is. The apostle brother of Jesus hints that the secret of Joy as Jesus had, when he despised the cross but desired to go through the suffering to teach us all that going through suffering with Joy is not because in some hypomanic state you believe it to be good nonsense.  Joy transforms the fear and pain of suffering into the growth through suffering.  Victor Frankl's "redemptive suffering".

"Who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross while despising the shame....is the author and finisher of our faith life and so, with courage and trust and without fear of loss, let us run the race that is before us " (Hebrews 12:1-2)

3. Peace:  It is like the sea of glass in revelation, in pleasant places with pleasant partners, without a palace or cabin in the woods, in the most difficult of moments and the moments when all is well in the world it is a steady sense of "it is all good" which then works at making it good.  It is a peace that surpassed human understanding.

4. Long suffering:  Humility calls us to be vigilant in trusting people to have their and other's best interest in mind!  Long suffering is not being a doormat that others wipe their feet on so to invite and encourage honesty and humility to form and be experienced.on you.

5. Gentleness: Which is not weakness or the absence of strength but the strength to be quiet and humble while being hard and firm.  An Old Indian Proverb reads,  
There is nothing so gentle as real strength
There is nothing as strong as true  gentleness 

6. Goodness/Kindness: When tempted by emotions to be unintentionally nasty or rude, harsh or unpleasant, insensitive or mean take a step back, pay attention          and be intentionally kind.  When you fail as a parent, sibling or friend be strong and courageous enough to step out                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            of the battle and into a place of peace where you can say, "I was wrong.  I am sorry"!

7. Faih:  Praying with and for your wife and family no matter what.  This is not about going to church as good as it is to identify with a community of faith.  This kind of faith sees what no one else sees as it sees potential in a son or daughter.  This attribute of faith sees the problem and confronts it head on facing fear with the courage that has said its prayers!

8. Meekness:  This attribute is often confused with soft spoken, introspective, humble But on the contrary it is the capacity that you have all power but also the discipline to not use that  power intimidate 

9 Temperance or Self Control:  For the late nights and really mornings It os the tests the capacity and the audacity  yo self regulate on the arms

These 9 are strangely similar to those in Galatians that we refer to as the Fruit of the spirit

GALATIANS 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Whose problem is the problem?

Posted by Don Paine

She said to her 13 year old son as she was roughly and angrily shoving him into their car, "What is wong with you, you are 13 years old and you cannot read a simple paragraph".

My little boy part was really triggered but my social appropriate scanners said she is in a state she cannot hear even if an angel appeared to her and your compassion meter is already full so I said nothing.

At the same time a part of me recalled that I sometimes could not read a story without wandering off in my mind to another topic, issue or concern.  It was not that I could not read it was that I could not stay focused because of the business in my head of good things even kind things but also distracting or exciting things.  Prof Crouch at Yeshiva University burned two concerns into my self of being now they are moving into my sense of well being.  They are "focus, focus, focus and make friends with commas".  Thank you Elizabeth I get it at a deeper level than ever.


I thought what is wrong with you as a parent that you cannot se your part.   Scolding and yelling at people even if you are right does not usually help the situation. Often our fears or nervousness gets the best of us and while we intend to be caring and concern what comes out is judgment, accusations, nastiness.  What if this woman could have seen the problem as their shared problem and the solution probably a  shared effort that calms ever ones fears and feels compassionate and caring.  It would be a traditional "win win" Amen!  So if there was a way to think that the part of me that is frustrated with you right now wants to see you as the problem, but my angry and hostile reaction exacerbates the problem rather than ameliorating it.  Shared view of the problem results in shared participation in the solution

Wisdom from above

Posted by Don Paine

Wisdom that is from Above is full of peace and love
It is gentle and kind when speaking words of confrontation
It is patient and persevering when other perspectives it hears
When misunderstandings happen, love fills the bowl with tears