I was the train coming back from NYC and a man was talking loudly and rudely apparently on his cell phone. When the train official arrived and confronted the passenger he apologized profusely.
She told him it was okay.
When the train official left he began again. Her okay that I imagine was intentionally placed to make him not feel so badly, as she had called him on his irresponsible and disrespectful behavior. It actually seemed to make him think it was okay to go back to previous behavior.
I began to thing this may be what happens when people confronted but make no changes. What if she said. You are okay but this behavior is not okay so thank you for changing and being more respectful to others and more responsible for your behavior.
What is the balance between confrontation with compassion and having so much compassion that the confrontation never registers and therefore behavior never changes.
Compassion is a key but too much can have the key lost.
About Me
- Don Paine
- I am a pastor and a clinical psychotherapist. My life's passion is defining healthiness from a human perspective and paralleling it to the holiness of God, divine perspective. Shifting perspectives creates a paradigm that is alongside of rather than over and against. The parakalein of God and the paradoxes of humanity are redefined. Humanity is all about winning and yet we are losing ground everywhere. Divinity is all about letting go of the desire to win and the fear of loss. The Divine embraces the world with loving care regardless of anything.
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