Parakalein

In a dialogue about these two concepts I realized what I experience as a fundamental difference between these two.

Empathy is being drawn into the experience of another person.  For instance I read an article in Newsweek (June 20) last week on Bipolar Children.  The author told the story of a mother who gave a prescription to her son for his BiPolar condition and the son died.  As I read the story I was drawn with empathy to put myself in her place and imagine how hurt, angry, bewildered and grief stricken she was.  The capacity for empathy is putting myself in her shoes.  Some do not want to do that. Some do it so much that they take on the experience as if they actually knew the person or had the experience.  That is an extreme version of empathy and can be helpful to some degree but hurtful in other ways.  Empathy allows me to embrace another persons pain which his necessary for human connection.

Compassion is being drawn to the experience of another person from inside which is empathy.  It might include an identifying embrace but it offers the strength of presence, of perseverance, of persistence, of perspective, and of patience.  It offers open heart and open arms of support while the person work through the hurt and pain in their life.  It combines the empathy of care with the wisdom of not caring so much that you become lost in the hurt so are no help for the wounded. Compassion opens wide the accepting arms of love and stays balanced in the compassion of Self.

From a theological posture we see this in the cross of Calvary.  God opens wide his arms of loving care filled with compassion.  "As a father has compassion on his children so the Lord has compassion on his children for God recalls that they are dust"(Psalm 103).  Empathy had God empty himself of all but love, then he opened his arms to offer that kind of supportive loving to all in compassionate care.  Compassion is imbued with empathy but balanced with self care and care for others.

Be compassionate is the command.