Parakalein

I always thought of this biblical and life principle as about "honesty and openness".

Many people say yes but do no, others say no but do yes.  I have all done both.  It is either a "yes" or a "no" it is nerve a yes and a no.  While this is true in one sense anther sense shift may be equally true.

In an either or world it is always about a vote of yes or no.  It i about integrity and the lack of inconstancies.

What if this principle pointed to another principle just as important.  The principle of clarity and confidence.
We then could address ways in which it should be yes and other ways it should be no but doing so with clarity and compassion for opposite parts or opinions.  What if that enlarged our conversation and embraced our sense of community while embracing our differences.  Perhaps then diversity would be respected acceptance rather than right  tolerance.

Defining our yes and no, declaring our yes and no while remaining open to embracing the yes and no in others may be a secret of community building.

While at an international conference in Edinburgh, Scotland a few years ago I heard a French Therapist present the idea of "mature dependency".  He addressed the sense in which dependency was  a "no" and also ways in which dependency is a "yes".  It was clear and concise but different.  If what we need in relationships is to be dependable and what we want is someone who we can depend on why is dependency give a bad image.   Mature dependency is not depending on you to allow me to not change. Mature dependency is depending on love inside and out that supports the courage to try new things and to change how I see old things and new things.

So let your "no" be clear and compassionate and let your "yes" be clear and compassionate.  It is both and not either or.

Yes and no.