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I am a pastor and a clinical psychotherapist. My life's passion is defining healthiness from a human perspective and paralleling it to the holiness of God, divine perspective. Shifting perspectives creates a paradigm that is alongside of rather than over and against. The parakalein of God and the paradoxes of humanity are redefined. Humanity is all about winning and yet we are losing ground everywhere. Divinity is all about letting go of the desire to win and the fear of loss. The Divine embraces the world with loving care regardless of anything.

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Shame, Blame and Guilt

Posted by Don Paine

Have you ever touched someone in a bruised part and watched them flinch.  A normal touch to a normal arm conveys love and care.  A gentle touch to a wounded spot causes a response in each.  The wounded person winces in pain.  The touching person flinches in fear as he sees the unintentional hurt caused by his inadvertent touch.  For the wounded time and sensitive un-touching combine for healing over time.

Shame blame and guilt bring attention to wounded parts and add to the experience and expression of those wounded parts.  Shame, blame and guilt are protective and defensive parts but they are not redemptive parts.  They lead to the call for calm (non-defensive), compassionate (uncritical), and courageous (unproductive) qualities that invite redemptive healing.  Redemptive healing is healing that returns the person to the former state of wellness through the way of calm, compassionate, courageous, and recreative energy.

The redemptive purpose of Shame, Blame and Guilt is to lead us to the well of Grace, Goodness, and Gentleness that are restorative. Having learned the lesson of hurt and wounds of healing we become more cued into the hurt and wounds of others.  The healing balm is present in the wounded healer.  By the stripes that represent pain and hurt, that evoke shame and blame, and that are mentors of care and compassion we are healed of all strife.

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