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I am a pastor and a clinical psychotherapist. My life's passion is defining healthiness from a human perspective and paralleling it to the holiness of God, divine perspective. Shifting perspectives creates a paradigm that is alongside of rather than over and against. The parakalein of God and the paradoxes of humanity are redefined. Humanity is all about winning and yet we are losing ground everywhere. Divinity is all about letting go of the desire to win and the fear of loss. The Divine embraces the world with loving care regardless of anything.

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Self and the Couple Relationship

Posted by Don Paine

I was recently at an IFS Conference that focused on healthy togetherness and came up with the following plan for a Couple's Retreat:

Blending together the principles of Internal Family Systems and Parakalein System of Being into redefining being a couple, a family, and Global Community of Life and Faith


 Three Principles woven as a cord of three strands, a stance of three ideas into a dance of intimacy

1.  All parts in all people are All Welcome

2. The SELF is an inner and eternal essence of healing, hope, honor, honesty, and humility.  It is an agency of peace and love without agendas except to nurture peace and love

3.  All parts are invited to, called to, and created for an "alongside of and with" all other parts in balance and harmony that promotes togetherness.  

Summary:  Polarization and paralysis are the natural reactions of a disharmonious system of opposite parts. While it is not the intention of a part oppose another part it is often the belief of a part.  Oppositional defiance and oppositional compliance are equally unhealthy to any system.  A system is healthy when opposites are seen not as compensatory opposites but  as complimentary opposites. 

Parallels and propellants of community are the natural reactions of an harmonious system that welcomes all parts, all experiences, all burdens, and all beliefs as one.  Burdens that propel disharmony are released of their burden. Beliefs that propel disharmony are shifted to beliefs that promote healing and wholeness for all so we become one yet many, many yet one.

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