Parakalein

I was walking in the cool of the morning of an unusually cold (24 degree) April Day.

I began to imagine that I was sitting in a sad place after making a mistake in judgment.  I am feeling prejudged so I go into a shameful dark place to hide from the consequences of my actions. 

In that dark place I think to myself, “what am I doing here?”.  I decide to get up and walk out of the cave of my self-judgment, of my prejudging the God who made me, and my judgment on the partner who was a gift from the creator to help me.  Instead of helping each other we had inflicted more pain then necessary on each other.  I take my partners hand and we walk out of the place of hiding and darkness into the sacred place of healing and of wholeness.  The hole in our heart opens to receive the love that both fills the hole and brings wholeness to our hurt parts.  The whole of us, including our “mistake,” steps aside to receive the whole of the creator’s heart.  We see that the creator’s heart is itself broken to bless even as our broken failure is there to receive the blessing of grace.  We take a deep breath together as we walk out of the darkness of our hiding into the darkness of night that will give way to the light of day as if nothing changes around us as long as nothing changes inside of us.

The deep breath opens space for fresh air.  The fresh thought grips me.  If we sit here, in the darkness without fear or failure as well as in fear and failure, we discover the hidden secret.  We wait for the God who created us to be with us with anticipatory grace.  The Hidden secret of the garden is that all things grow in us the realization that nothing needs to separate us for m the creator God who loves us.  Literally nothing changes in God even when we feel strangely different.