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I am a pastor and a clinical psychotherapist. My life's passion is defining healthiness from a human perspective and paralleling it to the holiness of God, divine perspective. Shifting perspectives creates a paradigm that is alongside of rather than over and against. The parakalein of God and the paradoxes of humanity are redefined. Humanity is all about winning and yet we are losing ground everywhere. Divinity is all about letting go of the desire to win and the fear of loss. The Divine embraces the world with loving care regardless of anything.

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Best Baby Shower the gift Parental Wisdom from the parent of All of Us

Posted by Don Paine

I think it was Dr Karl Menninger who said "Adults biologically produce children, Psychologically, Children produce Adults!"

Have you been to a baby shower and seen all the gifts: multiple blankets, multiple toys, many diapers or a diaper service for the more environmentally focused?  Recently my wife was invited to a baby shower and she cam up with a creative basket of little things that because they do not in themselves cost a lot would not be thought of as a gift but all together they were a low cost high reward kind of gift.  Key word "thoughtful" not "costly".

What is the best gift we could give parents in waiting:  A gift Pack of 9 small items not high in cost but high in reward:

1. Love:  It is the only gift that lasts forever.  It is sometimes tough but always tender.  It makes the best of the worst of times and remembers to give God thanks for the good times.  It hates faking it but loves being it.  It is honest but not harsh, gentle but not weak, and long-suffering but not a doormat.

2. Joy:  Like singing in the rain, walking a scary path, feeling the storm clouds threaten, and the safety of your feet slipping off the rock into sinking sand. "Count it a Joy" regardless of how good or bad it is. The apostle brother of Jesus hints that the secret of Joy as Jesus had, when he despised the cross but desired to go through the suffering to teach us all that going through suffering with Joy is not because in some hypomanic state you believe it to be good nonsense.  Joy transforms the fear and pain of suffering into the growth through suffering.  Victor Frankl's "redemptive suffering".

"Who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross while despising the shame....is the author and finisher of our faith life and so, with courage and trust and without fear of loss, let us run the race that is before us " (Hebrews 12:1-2)

3. Peace:  It is like the sea of glass in revelation, in pleasant places with pleasant partners, without a palace or cabin in the woods, in the most difficult of moments and the moments when all is well in the world it is a steady sense of "it is all good" which then works at making it good.  It is a peace that surpassed human understanding.

4. Long suffering:  Humility calls us to be vigilant in trusting people to have their and other's best interest in mind!  Long suffering is not being a doormat that others wipe their feet on so to invite and encourage honesty and humility to form and be experienced.on you.

5. Gentleness: Which is not weakness or the absence of strength but the strength to be quiet and humble while being hard and firm.  An Old Indian Proverb reads,  
There is nothing so gentle as real strength
There is nothing as strong as true  gentleness 

6. Goodness/Kindness: When tempted by emotions to be unintentionally nasty or rude, harsh or unpleasant, insensitive or mean take a step back, pay attention          and be intentionally kind.  When you fail as a parent, sibling or friend be strong and courageous enough to step out                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            of the battle and into a place of peace where you can say, "I was wrong.  I am sorry"!

7. Faih:  Praying with and for your wife and family no matter what.  This is not about going to church as good as it is to identify with a community of faith.  This kind of faith sees what no one else sees as it sees potential in a son or daughter.  This attribute of faith sees the problem and confronts it head on facing fear with the courage that has said its prayers!

8. Meekness:  This attribute is often confused with soft spoken, introspective, humble But on the contrary it is the capacity that you have all power but also the discipline to not use that  power intimidate 

9 Temperance or Self Control:  For the late nights and really mornings It os the tests the capacity and the audacity  yo self regulate on the arms

These 9 are strangely similar to those in Galatians that we refer to as the Fruit of the spirit


GALATIANS 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

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