Parakalein

A number of years ago when I was first introduced to the "Internal Family System" model of therapy (www.selfleadership.org) the founder said one thing then another that seemed incongruent and inconsistent. He said "the Self" has not agenda.  Later he said, "the Self has an agenda".

So today I am reflecting on two incidents in my life one today and one last Saturday.  Last Saturday, we went for a day trip to Nantucket Island.  I twas a perfect weather day and we had waited for one to come up.  My agenda was to get on the island early via the Freedom Ferry then eat at our favorite breakfast nook.  They have a patio that allows our dog to lay at our feet while we enjoy breakfast.  She gets the leftovers as a reward for good dog behavior which in her mind makes us good people.  There was an hour wait so we walked around town and it became a 2 hour wait.  I was bummed.  We then chose to eat at another new place.  We are adventuresome eaters but I was bummed my agenda was not done.  The new place was perfect and had a 10 minute wait for a perfect out of the way table.  Then another couple came in with their dog and we felt, "oh no".  the hour conversation that followed was great for our dogs and each of us.  Their were numerous connectors with this couple and we have exchanged emails already.

When I let go of my agenda something wonderful happened that I would have missed if I was so agenda focused that I could not be flexible.  I wonder how many connectors we miss because we are too agenda focused.  At the same time if I we were not faithful to our agenda to go to Nantucket the connection would never had happened.

So I began to imagine the bounty of living with an agenda but not being so fixated on what we want that we are not flexible about that agenda.  Maybe God's agenda is not for us to do or not do any particular thing but to be fair and flexible no matter what.  God remains in a position of peace and in a posture of love toward everyone.  That is God;s agenda.  Beyond that God is fair and flexible.

What if we all simply had an agenda to stay in a peaceful position or place regardless of anything and to remain in a posture of loving kindness toward everyone regardless of anything.   The we would be willing to sacrifice all the other agendas of life and the pursuit of happiness and in so doing be open to new vistas of mysterious living and ventures of wonder.

So I have learned to attempt to be faithful and focused in the agenda of loving actions and peaceful attitudes while at the same time having agendas that are easily flexed and changed opening my life to the wonders of wonder itself.

Oh yes, the other event:  I had on my agenda after dropping my daughter off at the airport to visit the New York Road Runners Club to meet up with some concerns for the NYC marathon some three months away.  My car overheated on 83rd street right by a parking space several blocks from the club.  So I am taking care of my ailing car and my agenda to stop at NYRRC will wait to another time. I was upset at first that my agenda was being dismantled.  At the same time, my agenda of getting my daughter to the airport and getting into the city and even finding a parking space were all met.  So i was more thankful than anything.  I was not happy about the car trouble but I was not rattled in my peace or disturbed in my loving kindness.  This is not always true but it was true today.  Thankfully.  I just got an email for them saying it will work out better next week.  So there you go.

It is both having an agenda and not having an agenda that is liberating and pacifying simultaneously.

Mmmmm.