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I am a pastor and a clinical psychotherapist. My life's passion is defining healthiness from a human perspective and paralleling it to the holiness of God, divine perspective. Shifting perspectives creates a paradigm that is alongside of rather than over and against. The parakalein of God and the paradoxes of humanity are redefined. Humanity is all about winning and yet we are losing ground everywhere. Divinity is all about letting go of the desire to win and the fear of loss. The Divine embraces the world with loving care regardless of anything.

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A Piano that makes good music

Posted by Don Paine

So often I have felt boxed in, restricted, constrained by a box that someone wanted to put me in or that I put myself in.

I have a part that remembers being "harnessed as a child".  AS I have worked with the memory and the pain of that memory I have learned that what felt like a harness of restraint was intentionally a harness of protection.  A shift in perspective changes the perception that changes the power of the image.

I was presenting a workshop on shifting from a point counter point focus of conflict that is counter productive to a counter balancing focus of conflict that is counter intuitive yet produces a shift in power.  Power becomes the power to understand and utilize while balancing out the power to demand and dominate.  An image came to my mind of a piano.  While still engaging the Q&A time of the presentation that went os well, I was internally musing about this image.  People are more important than internal musing and it is hard to stay focused.  The part of me that wanted to stay focused on the piano imagery stepped aside being assured that we will invite it back at a later time but that it was at present getting in the way  but that it had value and would be welcomed at a later time.  It and I relaxed into a calm place as I said to the group attending the workshop.  It is all about remaining in a peaceful place regarding not regardless of anything going on inside.  Trust me something was just going on inside my mind that threatened my staying focused on you.  It was intentionally disruptive but it was potentially disruptive.  I assured it of value and would return to it.  The key is if I do not then the parts learn to not trust me and I lose the sacred space of calmness.  I lose the sacred space of connections as well.

This morning as I was walking the image returned with clarity and creative reality.  The part was welcomed and the systems integrity sustained.  I saw all the tension and conflict in the world as the tension and conflict inside the piano.  It was a piano that I had seen earlier in the lobby of a hotel.  A stunningly impressive grand piano of ebony.  I began to see all the strings of the piano, some long some short, some very tight with tension some less.  The top of the piano was open allowing the tension to be seen yet contained, open to sacred space of observation and openness and in sacred space of containment and constriction.  then I realized that without the containment of the piano and the connection to the key board no music would be forth coming.  I also realized that without the tension inherent in the piano there would be no music.  With the balance of containment and tension was the key board to beautiful music that harmonizes in the soul and creates harmony in the universe.  Containment with contentment is great gain!

The intention of the creator of the piano was to provide containment, to harness the tension within so that music of living would be good to the listener and the learner.  What I learn is to let the tension be, let the conflict teach me to be in balance and harmony so music comes forth.  A cacophony at times and symphony at times but always music to and for and from the soul.

When we face conflict we often think it is about resolving the conflict which we try to do by "appreciative inquiry", by lively debate, by the power of words, by the power of strength over the other.  In all points it is about who gets to win.  The only point everyone gets is sharp hurt and pain that dissolves community and relationships and makes sour music.  When power is about winning or losing the strings in the piano start snapping, shift their tension, and create "un-tunement".  What if the atonement was to get back into a tuned in state: to welcome all tension and all parts without the need to win or lose but with the capacity to value and validate.  (I mused for another time: maybe atonement of Christ was not about making me one with Christ's sacrifice for me but being in tune withe the one who is peace within me) When we step out of the win lose paradigm of power over, we step into the power to be alongside with equal value to all parts.  The result is that rather than trying to resolve the conflict issue we dissolve the negative attention to the tension that is behind the conflict and invite intentionally to pay attention to the value of all parts within the piano of life.  Music comes forth and it is good.

As I was walking I became aware that I was in a calm place were music was filling my soul.  I thank ed the parts of me that trusted I would get back to them.  They thanked me for honoring them and not forgetting about them.  The system was in balance and harmony and I could feel it form deep within.

"Be the piano I made you to be" was the message and the song.

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