Parakalein

I have heard that said a lot of times and have said it a lot of times.  Today I am thinking not so much.

In an over and against context of living it seems to be that I have to forgive people or I need to be forgiven by people.  A part of me has been caught more than one in the dilemma and paradox of this valley.  It is the valley of forgiveness.

In that valley there is frustration, anger, fear and lament anything but peace.

As I thought about that I recalled the words of Peter,  “How many times must I forgive my brother”.  Peter had no doubt experienced the valley of forgiveness and wanted out of it.   He was no doubt tired of forgiving people only to feel that he was contributing to their continued behavior and he wanted to know when he could stop that.  When I forgive someone who has no intention of seeing their behavior as needing a “repentance job” rather than a “repair job”, I feel like I am contributing to problem.  It is not about repairing any thing it is about changing something.  Peter may have also been tired of feeling if he did not forgive he was being unforgiving and resentful.  One thing is true something had to change, for Peter.  Jesus words came paradoxically clear as he said, “70 times 7 is how many times you have to forgive your brother.  If Peter heard this literally, he could be unforgiving at 491^st offense.  If Peter heard it another way, he might have concluded, so it is not about me forgiving my brother so what is it about.

As I consider the dilemma and paradox of forgiveness, I see two things very clearly.  One forgiveness releases people from the burden of unforgiveness, and two the need to forgive burdens people with perpetuating the hurt and pain they experienced while letting the perpetrator and the victim be fragmented by both unforgiveness and forgiveness.