About Me

My photo
I am a pastor and a clinical psychotherapist. My life's passion is defining healthiness from a human perspective and paralleling it to the holiness of God, divine perspective. Shifting perspectives creates a paradigm that is alongside of rather than over and against. The parakalein of God and the paradoxes of humanity are redefined. Humanity is all about winning and yet we are losing ground everywhere. Divinity is all about letting go of the desire to win and the fear of loss. The Divine embraces the world with loving care regardless of anything.

Search This Blog

Gaining Perspective of the Fears and Desires that are in us

Posted by Don Paine

A number of year ago I began training in Internal Family Systems a life shift therapy that invites people to see their internal world as made up of "Self" which the core element of compassion, courage, calmness, creativity, consistency, communion, clarity, etc. (notice the C words) and Parts which include God given parts in the system, and parts that are borne to help the system cope with life and trauma that threatens the system and causes the system to make shifts of it survival.  In some instances these are coping mechanisms and in other instances these become "defensive, protective, polarizing, and generally work against the system trusting the caring center or Self to be all the system needs to care for and settle down the fears and desire of these parts.  The fears keep people from risking in a good way "manager parts" but help to negotiate life in the world. The desires propel people into what is called "firefighter behaviors" that while the intention is to put the fire out they damage the trust in the system that the Self offers.

Recently when I went through a very difficult time of internal fears and doubts that left me depressed then more recently experienced a jettison of hypomania which I now see as the "desire to do it all now"m I became convinced that these are two sides of the real enemy of internal peace and sowing peace in all relationships as an act of righteousness (James 3:18).

Recognizing and distinguishing between multiple parts that hold hurt, wounds, trauma, love, care is the first order of business in attaining to healthy perspectives of all parts.  Listening to their story without fear of getting lost in the story and listening to the story without the desire for gain through impression others with the story invite the system into a peaceful place where Self in all its light helps lighten the burden of the part.

Opening parts to the experience of Self is part of the healing work.  When you are so depressed that you cannot see that no one can help you see that.  Somewhere deep inside is a seed of redemption that once "tapped" can spring forth into healing.  I have come to believe that their is a seed of redemption infall of us that needs to be "tripped". (The Biblical parallel: "You has he (God) quickened who were dead in your trespasses and sins" (Ephesians 2:1).  This is why redemption is both internal and external.  It is not external in that tit is done to you without your involvement but it is external in that their needs to happen in you something that ignites the spark of hope.

For me it was a moment of dusk perhaps figuratively how I was feeling:  like I was a the end of my days.  When i saw the picture below:


I received the message:  I am the God of Heaven and Earth, I am with you, it will be okay. So just look and see the reflection of my love for you and know bros that it will be okay, so please just trust me, you know how so just do what you know to do......

It took 16 days before I was writing my first blog and feeling more positive like I had something to offer so it was not instantaneous but their was a spark ignited in my soul.  Where Self meets parts they are welcomed and cared for in ways that lessen their burdens, restore their healthier versions, and give hope.






0 comments:

Post a Comment