Parakalein

In a day where the news is full of athletes who think only about themselves, their money, their fame, about winning and money it is refreshing to see an athlete stand out from the crowd.  It is true that the media tends to put the bad stories on the front page still even though we are in a new century of enlightenment?

It is also try that humanity in general still seems to pursue money and profits more than integrity and honesty. Have you ever walked away from a counter and realized they gave you too much change.  No one was around so no one would ever know.  Did you pocket the money and say "his loss my gain".   Did you reason you did nothing wrong and he just made a mistake?

Several weeks ago we went on a one day trip, budget version so off season, to a resort town.  After walking the beach, swimming a bit our golden retriever went totally in the other two humans in descending degrees of wet then walked the small town.  No crowds made it more fun.  Afterwards we stopped at a little ice cream shop.  Debbie went in for ice cream while I managed the dog, sorry Ginger.   then I went in to get my ice cream and of course ice cream for Ginger.  I paid what the man charged me.  Walked back to Ginger and Mom.  As we were all enjoying our ice cream.  I told Debbie how much I paid and she said that is not right then we realized that he forgot to charge us for her ice cream and I had assumed she had paid.  We went back in to the store and made it right.  Then ice cream man said, "I cannot believe it you are the first people who have ever come back to make it right!"  How sad.  It is in the isolated moments that true character comes out.  I am not saying we always do the right thing more concerned about doing the right thing than profit or gain.  I confess I had a part that said, his mistake our profit.  Thankfully I was in control of that part not that part in control of me.

Yesterday Leonard Pope, an NFL football player with the San Diego Chiefs, was at a pool party and heard the cry of a mother for her son who was drowning .  Without through for the cell phone in his pocket or anything else except the need of this little boy he dove into the water and came up with the boy.  I do not know if he is a Christian but his behavior and focus was that which mirrored Jesus who thought of all of us more than he did himself and dove into humanity to save humanity form drowning. I is not about what you believe as much as how your belief translates into actions.  He stated that he did not have time to think it was just a reaction without thought.  He had to act.  He dove in without any thought except this 6 year old boy will drown if no one does anything.  He did not look around to see if anyone else was doing anything.  He acted in calmness and compassion form inside.  What a role model for all kids and people.

The real Pope stood tall in that moment.  In the tradition of the first Pope, Peter.  He did for another without thought of self, without thinking about gain.  This is an athlete in action.  The content of character is what really matters after all.

The other day I was with a 6 year old who was trying to max sense of his divided life.  A part of him loved his mother. Another part loved his dad.  A part of him could not figure out how his parents who once loved each other were now hating each other.  He had written a short story about cats so I made up a story that after it came out of me (the foundation story was in me but I had never used it in this way) and I saw that it was helpful to home I decided it might be helpful for others.  Here is the story changed a little for this setting and for context:

When people get married they snuggle up together like two cats that lay together really tucked into each other.  Someplace along the way something triggers a part of them that changes how they see each other.  It is as if someone tied their tails together while they were sleeping and threw them over a clothes line. What do you think would happen.  The little boy looked up at me and said, they would start fighting".  Exactly!
That is what happens when something goes wrong in a marriage.  The boy looked up at me and said, "How do they stop?"  Interesting? Somebody has to untie their tails. When people get married they love each other.  Over time something triggers their hurt and angry parts.  It sometimes gets to feel like two cats fighting and you can feel in between.  Even when someone unites the knot in their tails that had replaced the weaving of their hearts, they keep fighting becasue they think they have to.  They try to draw you into it.  When your dad says he hates your Mom it is the part of him that can't stop fighting.  It has nothing to do with you so just ignore their fighting and see that it triggers a part of you that might feel bad, sad, and confused.  He asked "will they ever stop fighting?"  I said, I am not sure.  You can stop letting them pull you into the fight.  Just think of the cat story you wrote whenever your dad tells you how much he hates your mother and how bad your mother is.  See it as his fighting cat part and don't take it in or try to fix it cause it is not about you it is about him and your mom.  Do the same when you are with your mom. It is not even about them but about their parts that once loved, you are a product of that love.  Now they only know to fighting.  Just know that inside of them they love you but their outside parts fight over you and through you or try.  Just know you are loved and let love set you free of any fighting inside.

It is not about fighting it is about loving.  Compassion replaces confusion when you step out of the fighting.

This weekend I was out for a walk and began to stumble and caught myself before falling down.

Three thoughts gripped me:
1) Thank you God for helping me to catch myself
2) I thought of my friend who has ALS, who walked a 3 mile walk for ALS in NY a few weeks ago surrendered by friends like my wife and I who walked with him.  Several times as he stepped down along the course he nearly stumbled but God strengthened his internal courage and he did it without falling.
3) I thought of a promise in God's Word to all people:  Psalm 37:23 "Though he stumble he will not fall down for the Lord upholds him with his hand".  

No matter what happens in your life:  natural disasters, unnatural disasters, difficult days, untimely and horrific death, this passages says to all that even though these things may cause us to stumble, falter and even fail, God is always there to catch us in our falling, and in our failing.  I picture God catching us in our hopeless and helpless states.  Catching us like I recall catching one of my children and just wrapping him up in my arms where he felt safe, loved, and cared for.  Not rescued but strengthened to believe in the power of the holding of love.

I believe this is the sacred space where you and I are in the "arms of God's love".  Whether you know it or feel it or not, it is true.  God is there for you.

When i was a child I fell head first onto a cement floor.  God id not prevent me from falling.  I did not die.  I could have.  I believe God is there with loving arms always.  Whether to rescue me from death or to welcome me to eternal life, God is and was there!  Arms of love are like that.  Always there.

I am glad God rescued me to life that day.

The one thing that is always true is the Arms of Love are there.  In life and death, arms of love keep us from falling into the hell of despair where there is no love.

I was the train coming back from NYC and a man was talking loudly and rudely apparently on his cell phone.  When the train official arrived and confronted the passenger he apologized profusely.

She told him it was okay.

When the train official left he began again.  Her okay that I imagine was intentionally placed to make him not feel so badly, as she had called him on his irresponsible and disrespectful behavior. It actually seemed to make him think it was okay to go back to previous behavior.

I began to thing this may be what happens when people confronted but make no changes.  What if she said.  You are okay but this behavior is not okay so thank you for changing and being more respectful to others and more responsible for your behavior.

What is the balance between confrontation with compassion and having so much compassion that the confrontation never registers and therefore behavior never changes.

Compassion is a key but too much can have the key lost.

Rev. Anthony Robinson told the story of being in a church as a worshipper.  During the opening hymn a 7 year old girl named grace was dancing and twirling to the music, while the rest of the congregation sang with a stiffness that was accentuated by her movement.  She was lost in "wonder and praise" which is just what worship really is.  Getting lost in the wonder of God's love twirling to the delight of the rhythm of the soul and the moving of the spirit.

Later in the service the pastor came forward to do the children's sermon and there were, as he scanned the whole congregation, no children.  Here is where a part of me is triggered and I want to respectfully and responsibly note those parts without e parts in others that might take my words as being critical or judgmental.  So let me try to speak with love and grace the truth that is in me without implying that it is "the truth" or the only way to see this.

What an opportunity to let the little girls movement be the children's sermon.  To talk about "inhibitions that restrict the free worship of God."  I was triggered to recall a moment in an interview for ministry in a church as their senior pastor in which the following question was posed:  We have some concern that some of our people are raising their hands in worship in an effort to show off which makes others uncomfortable.  How would you handle this?"

My response:  First let me say that Worship is by definition freedom for all to worship in the way they are best drawn into the presence of the living God.  Second, when I am in a church and no one is moving or raising their hands, I know two things:  1) that some have it the way they want it and 2) others are sitting on their hands and crossing their feet restricting their souls need to move.  We need to create space for people to be free to do what is in their heart and in their body that is part of their worship.  We especially should not judge others as "showing off" in worship when Worship is "showing up".  Grace the little girls name is the key.  Having grace toward all invites all to Worship in the multitude of ways that people can and do worship without being inhibited by "we do not Worships that away here" meta message.  Maybe the 7 year old was the message that say but because she was not seen as the messenger her message was missed.

Look around for a message form a 7 year old when you are in church or synagogue or temple or mosque this Sunday.  Maybe the reason children are not present in many of our church is that our welcome is not wide enough for them to feel welcome.  Let's widen our welcome by broadening our thinking.  We may be old but our thinking need not be.

May grace abound in our WORSHIP!  May children lead us to be free in Worship!

I ate at Panera's with a friend today.  My pick 2 included and Tomato Mozzarella Panini Sandwich.  It had a three inch corner burnt black hard and bad.  I never like complaining much and just go along with whatever so ate and talked telling my annoyed part it is not so important.

The waitress came over to take our dishes away and she asked if everything was okay.  My friend and I had been talking about speaking in truth and grace with people.  I seized the moment as if out of control.

"Well while apart of me really enjoyed my lunch, another part of me said this is unacceptable. ( I turned over the three inch corner of the panini with its hard blackened crust....)  I can burn my bread this well on my own I do not need to have them do it for me."  The pleasant waitress said that I should have asked for another and they would have given me one.  "So, I have to be the complainer to get a well un-burnt panini.  I get that is a legitimate response but it puts the responsibility on me.  When it is the chefs responsibility to cook the sandwich and check it before he or she serves it to a customer.  For my part it is on them to do there job not on me to complain.  I obviously am not wanting a new sandwich, it is also obvious that I enjoyed most of the sandwich.  It is obvious also that I am not angry or demanding just calmly and clearly speaking for a part that felt unattended to.  I just want the kitchen to know to check and not serve a burnt sandwich hoping that the recipient would not notice or complain."   She said I will let them know. " I wished her a good day and smiled as she turned and walked away.

I wonder, what was that young lady thinking as she walked away.  Was I a grouchy old man to her.  Did she experience me as speaking calmly and clearly without anger or judgment but with compassion and courage.  Does our culture place the burden of complaining on us then we complain that people are complaining?  Doe we just shut up about it because it is not all that important or should we model speaking in a compassionate way.

Speaking truth in a compassionate, clear and calm way is elusive yet it is the direction to the church (Eph 4).

If you cannot say it in a nice way then do not speak might be a good rule to follow. My grandmother's wisdom:  If you do not have something good to say say nothing at all is replaced by:  "When saying anything to anyone about anything say it in an affirming and challenging way. Positively speaking the truth about yourself and how you are feeling in a nice and compassionate way is the mandate for the conversations at the church coffee table, social, work day, anywhere, anytime to anyone.

Grace in truth.  Truth in grace.  It is the Christian wrap.

'If it is to be it is up to me"
-author iunkown

With God alongside and within me all things are possible only believe!

Years ago I took this be-attitude to mean that if I kept my mouth shut, suffered for Jesus, let people trample me under foot, in the end I will get the "well done" and not only get eternal happiness but also I will get to rule the earth.  Today I have one word for that, "Really"!

I see that position or understanding as feeding the ego, depleting honesty, and ruining the church.  It is not about getting power over.  It is about being empowered from the inside out.  It is about speaking out with courage, calmness and compassion toward all even those who would persecute or undermine you.  It is not power of over others it is power to be the authentic person you are and to see God work through that authenticity and audacity.

The meek are not the quiet mousey people that harbor inner angst or anger just waiting for their turn to rule.

The meek are the strong, opinionated, capable, assertive, and aggressive people who have no agenda to control and who can with unconditional love surrender their power without malice toward anyone and can exert their power with charity toward everyone.  The reason the meek will inherit the earth is they are then ones who have been given f=great power but refused to use that power to fulfill their own agendas or to abuse or misuse anyone regardless of how tight they might have been.  Might does not make right in this spiritual system.  Might is willing to sacrifice its power.  Right rules might.  In the kingdom only those who have been meek can be trusted to rule in a Godly way.  In the way of righteousness, might surrenders to right!

Power is not about exerting control over others it is about being in control of one's human self.  Similarly the divine self is in control from the inside.

Omnipotence is all powerful from within not over those without.  Guess I am a little still on that from yesterday's blog.  I will control myself and let that be all folks.

I was turning the corner to my home form my walk when I noticed a friend drive up to his shop in  his pick up truck.  I had just checked my watch and said, "wow, I am behind better get to my blog".  I walked by then turned around and greeted him with, "I know you are busy but I figure if I am too busy to stop and say how are you doing to a friend I am too busy".  We laughed and chatted some and here I am.

Meditative walks are great but my mind has so many parts, thoughts and feelings what do you focus on.  I felt a little gentle breeze reminding me of a moment in time that a part had encapsulated and stored.  I was sitting in a hot seat, a great storm of conflict in the church had emerged, with the help of many parts in many people.  I had a part hat felt like it was a good manger and could help the church thought the conflict.
A group of leaders were gathered to be of help and they tole me I had a messianic complex.  I could get side tracked into how they thought I did and I thought I did not and it would all be for not so good!  So I step back.  Stepping back shifting perspective is an amazing thing and has an amazing effect on broadening your heart and enlightening your mind.

Why do we refer to something in someone as a messianic complex in a negative way.  We should not have that.  Should I not want to be help.  Should I not take a step back from "busy" to see a friend who I know is going through difficult times and not stop to say hello.  This could help start his day in a good way and mine.

The messiah is one who was able to step back and let humanity do whatever yet remain in peace.  He was never triggered by negative thoughts about self, God or others as he was always seeing more than anyone else.  Maybe this is a messianic calling.  A calling to "help" in little ways.  Ways that are not perceived to be helpful at first but in the end are what really counts.

I was going to blog about some theology stuff today.   I think this is more important.  If by Messianic Complex we mean that people think themselves to be the messiah when they are not I get that. What if we thought of the messianic complex as a complex of ideas that are not ego-centric but Christo-centric.
What if my theology or "got to get to work" thoughts are ego-centric, and stopping to say hello to a friend is a messianic complex of compassion and care as the primary rudders stirring the boat in the river of this day?

So step back, to step up and out into your day and have a good messiah day.  Be a sent one to someone to someone today.  Don't let it go to your head but let it come from your heart.